Upstairs at Risque: They'll bang you over your clothes

Watching men take off their clothes is the perfect way to celebrate a female friend getting married. It's also necessary to drink your beverage from a penis straw, eat penis shaped candy, penis shaped pasta, and cupcakes designed to look like a boob. Without these ingredients, you're not embracing the theme of the most important right of passage: the bachelorette party.

Having only been to one party of the sort I thought I knew what to expect. The previous bachelorette party took place at "The Cave." At The Cave, the men dance on stage and bounce their (presumably) stuffed banana hammocks up and down. When you guy a shot of girly sugary goodness, a man picks you up, you take the shot tube out of his moth, and he throws you back to help it go down smooth?

Doesn't sound too embarrassing right? Just scream animialistically at girating men as they discard their firemen costumes. Piece of cake. MAN cake.

Lauren's bachelorette party did not take place at The Cave. It took place Upstairs at Risque (http://www.myspace.com/menofclubrisque). The Upstairs is Risque "naughty little secret" where women go to view buff shaved men without shame or modesty.

Realizing I was wrong about the way of the male strip club only took 3 minutes. A man was assigned to each bride to be and when the music started, my jaw dropped. Instead of "dancing," the men do something that could best be described as "dry humping." When the guy put my friend up on his shoulders and buried his face into her crotch area, I thought that was as far as it goes. But I realized I was wrong about that when he spun her into what can best be described as a "stand up 69 position."

If you were lucky enough to get into the "hot seat" then you really got nailed (over the clothes). It was a long night of insane over the clothes fucking and harassment that you pay for. Our table was surely the lamest and least enthused when men in thongs approached we shewed them away with ones.

Boyfriend made an accurate observation when he said, "At strip clubs, women take off their clothes and are paid to deal with men ogling them and touching them. At male strip clubs, the men take off their clothes and the women are paying to be ogled and touched." He didn't use those exact words but it's pretty close and it was right on.

So if you're looking for a girls night out that involves being tossed around by muscular men in thongs, Upstairs at Risque is the destination for you. Be prepared to just let go and enjoy the attention. I highly suggest you drink an obscene amount of alcohol before you arrive.