Lancaster Brewing Company: The Pearl Jam of Beers

You know how "Ten" is arguably the best album released by Pearl Jam? And how the release of "Vs." was met with staggering reviews and not immediately a favorite new release for existing Pearl Jam fans? And how "Vitology" presented some of the worst songs Pearl Jam ever made causing a number of people to just give up on new Pearl Jam albums?

Lancaster Brewing Company is the Pearl Jam of beers. Not really knowing what they offer, Lancaster Brewing Company reeled me in with an enjoyable Milk Stout. A talk, dark and handsome beer- a perfect beverage on a cold as shit type of day. Drinking this beverage, you think to yourself, "Gee, I wonder what other beers Lancaster has to offer." And this is how you find yourself buying a sampler case to bring to a party. The only problem is, besides the Milk Stout, there's not really anything left that's worth while.

It could just be me. I don't dig a sweet beer. I didn't expect the "Amish Four Grain Pale Ale" to be sweet so I was especially annoyed with this beer. The website describes it as a "multi-grain pale ale summons the sweetness of oats, the complexity of rye, and the smoothness of malted wheat, balanced by a generous dry hopping of imported, noble Saaz hops." What a waste of some noble hops.

Lancaster's IPA, "Hop Hog" was OK. Not amazing, not wonderful, it was a beer that you can drink and be OK with. Maybe my disappointment has to do with my drinking a variety of amazing IPA's over the weekend. Maybe I was still pissed off about that Pale Ale. But either way, the Hop Hog is simply alright.

Moving forward, I won't write off Lancaster Brewing Company as a means for decent brew. I'm hopeful that their seasonal beers can help me forget about this disappointment that can only be compared to listening to Vs. and Vitology when I was 16.

Schneider Aventinus: The Waterfront Deck of Beers

Have you ever sat on a waterfront deck, with a blanket wrapped around your shoulders? You breathe in the air and it’s like the first breath you’ve ever taken? The scents of the world filter through your nose one by one giving you time to appreciate everything that’s going on. For this moment you feel what could best be described as a moment of zen that you never want to end.

The Schneider Aventinus is the waterfront deck zen experience of beer. In Philadelphia, it’s apparently only on tap at two bars (or so the fellow with the black eye tells me) and Devil’s Den happens to be one them. Black Eye (we’ll call him) says to me, “You need to order this beer. If you don’t like it, I’ll buy it off of you.”

Not sure what to make of the description, “This is a very intense wheat doppelbock with a complex spicy chocolate-like aroma with a hint of banana and raisins,” I went for it if only to experience this banana business. To my surprise, the hint of bananas was more prevalent than I expected. It was amazing. It was Christmas morning. It was that remarkable sunset that you still remember years after you witnessed it. It was cuddling after sex (if that’s your thing). Schneider Aventinus was my zen moment of my beer life.

At 8.2% ABV, you're graced with the feeling that you're getting your money's worth when drinking this 102 year old beer (created in 1907). But after such a profound enjoyment of this banana and raisin business, I had to wonder if it's just a one night stand.

After a Rogue beer tasting at Jose Pistola's, I was faced with making the decision of ordering a beer. And there it was. Schneider Aventinus staring at me from the menu. But this time, it was in a bottle. Could the bottle live up to the tap version? After realizing I was overthinking this decision, I decided to go for it. And so did everyone else at my table.

After getting to know this beer, I've learned that the banana flavor does not in fact come from bananas. The banana and spice aroma is the result of the strain of yeast used during fermentation. The complexity of the Aventinus thrills me. I'm also happy to report that this one night stand with Schneider Aventinus has grown into a casual love affair that will be taken slow and in moderation as to not spoil the expereiences we share.

Southern Tier Old Man Winter: Like a Suprising Fart

Some farts have the simple scent of stale air leaving your body. Other farts, are unique and will surprise you and linger for a bit. You keep breathing through your nose, trying to figure out this smell. It’s not necessarily bad, but you’re just not used to it coming out of your body. So you keep on breathing through your nose until the smell goes away.

The Southern Tier Old Man Winter is the unique fart of winter beers. A “copper color, caramel malt, subtle hops, toasty fruits, and yests” is mostly accurate- except for the fact that the hops are far from subtle.

How is this beer like a unique fart? The bite of the hops doesn’t go away. It lingers for a few minutes after every sip. It’s not necessarily a bad taste, but for a winter beer to be so hoppy, it’s just so different you can’t comprehend this bitterness weighing down on your tongue. Much like the unique fart that you can’t stop inhaling because it’s so different, you take another sip in an effort to wrap your mind around the hoppiness of this winter ale.

From the Southern Tier website, “Because of its high alcohol content, Old Man is a heady brew that encourages sipping and pondering its essential richness.” Pondering indeed.

I just wrote a bunch of shit about how I'm going to start writing about beer for fun. And the internet is an asshole so none of it saved.

But in case you were wondering, I'm going to start writing about beer for fun.

word up.

Ouch, My Eyes.

I thought perhaps there was something wrong with my eyes. And maybe I was right. But today was a strange day of sorts. A bit exhausted, a bit lazy, and a bit introspective... it was a perfect day to go people watch at the Art Museum steps.

When it's not too cold or too hot, you can spend hours watching people on the art museum steps. One of the best views in the city and a prominent backdrop in a fictional sports hero's story. The number of tourists... well they're probably not all tourists... that run up the steps and do the "rocky dance" is astounding.

We lost count somewhere around 30.

You could make a drinking game out of the phenomenon. But you probably wouldn't be able to tote around enough alcohol to drink everytime someone runs up the stairs and takes a picture with their arms punching the air or reaching the sky. Especially when you get groups of 10 or more. Or wedding parties.

The best way to describe today, as I tried to do all day long, is that I was really enjoying looking at things. I was enjoying the way my brain was processing information. Instead of processing a red car as a "red car," it was processed as a "red car clashing brilliantly against the green grass complimented by the Simpsonesque clouds in the sky and oh look those people playing soccer are enjoying themselves a great deal."

I'm not on drungs. Just overwelmed with subconscious observation.

On a side note. The Eagles won today and they're up against the Giants next week. I look forward to sports induced anxiety next sunday.

deleted

yeah.