Secret Police Convention

You're going to the Kyber because it has the best happy hour prices in town and you're now a gal on a tight budget. Beer at the Phillies game you're heading to is going to be 7 times the price of what you're about to drink so it only makes sense to stock up here. You'll regret this later in the evening and even more in the morning.

You bring a City Paper as your only defense against possible uncomfortable conversations with some random bar patron(s). Being a friendly female can be a weakness that prevents you from walking away from a conversation about bunyuns. The inability to say "Fuck off!" has trapped you many times. Deep down you love the human interaction but despise your inability to "grow a pair."



Interaction with people around you is unavoidable at Kyber. The regulars are very regular and also mostly friendly. The bartender is attentive and usually there's a weird Japanese game show on TV. If anything, you'll talk about the show but in past experiences you've also be advised on what South Philly bars have oldies bands play weekly, what apartment complexes to look at, how to lose weight, and how to weasel free shit from beer distributors. Conversation is going to happen. It's all a matter of time and content.



The characters at this bar are a diverse crowd made up of hipster twenty somethings, juke box enthusiasts, and thrifty folks of any age looking to not be raped on the price of a domestic beer. Today you've sat in between two men that appear to be regulars. You know this because bartender knows and uses their first names.

Bob, as it would turn out, is a homeless street performer. He wears circle glasses, Indian jewelry, a hat with a bandanna, and a snazzy country jacket. Bob's comparing 2 $5 bills and testing their durability by pulling the sides causing the paper to make a snapping thud noise. He asks you, "Did you know about the secret police convention going on this week?"

You look up from the "I love you, I hate you" section from the City paper and shake your head, "Can't say that I have."

And with a smile he says, "That's because it's a secret."